Its not getting easier....

In fact its getting worse..
I don't know if I'm just not a strong enough person. Because i know other people do it. I don't know if I'm just feeling sorry for myself... but there is a voice in my head saying this is impossible!!!
I am trying sooo hard to make this working mama thing work and continue to have a smile on my face.. and some days are OK... but most days are filled with stress tears and housework. I have no idea where to begin to organize in my brain... on how to function. I am sooo torn and its basically making my brain not function.
Kylie is still sick... and it seems to be getting worse. The daycare called me yesterday and asked me to pick her up because she was projectile vomiting. I know all kids get sick but i had no idea how terrible i would feel when it is my own child... i feel so helpless and guilty! I went and picked her up and gave her a nice warm bath and just cuddled her... she seemed to be doing better and kept her bottles down until this morning when i was on my way to work, Scott called me and told me that she was throwing up again. At this point i was just about pulling into work and decided to call the doctor to see what they suggest. I am still waiting for them to call me back... as i sit here waiting for them to call me back i feel like such a piece of crap! She is in daycare sick... and I'm at work.
Last night i was putting away her laundry and just sat in her room and cried... because she has been blessed with so many toys and books from all of her family... but my life is to consumed with my job and housework to even begin to think about playing with her... Don't get me wrong she is my number one when i get home from work... I spend her every waking minute with her when we are home ( which isn't very long) and then i proceed to my housework etc. But there just isn't enough time! When am i supposed to take her for a walk? When am i supposed to give her tummy time? When am i supposed to read to her? When am i supposed to teach her how to play with her toys? And when am i supposed to have time for Scott?
Scott has been so great! And such a big help! He tells me that i just need to relax... But in my head i cant relax until i know that everything is done... and everyone is happy. And right now it seems to be a never ending process. The house is a mess... I'm a mess... and Kylie is sick!
I'm sure I'm just having a bad day! But I really needed to just post this blog and vent a little. I know i need to appreciate all the things that make me happy... and i do know how blessed we are! But how do i balance all of this and still feel like a good mom?